hey how's it going? i feel like it's been a while so might as well talk about it for the few mrmetal™️ superfans that exist here.

fong story short, about three or four months ago i fell into a deep depression. it's always been something i've struggled with most of my life but the past few months were rough. there were days i could barely summon the will to get out of bed, there were days i couldn't do anything but cry until i couldn't anymore. thankfully i'm doing a lot better now, started seeing a therapist, working out more frequently and am trying to get my life back in track. so i do apologize to the few here that genuinely love my artwork and somehow missed me.

aside from that i've just been super busy with work. whenever i wasn't bawling my eyes out i was working and working to the point where there were days i would almost pass out from exhaustion. that's just the world we live in huh? having to constantly work for scraps of money at a time.

that being said i'm still super busy and am trying to find a balance between the amounts of work i have to put in vs my downtime which is basically reserved for gaming and art, especially now that i'm considered a full time worker.

i still love art, i love creating, i love drawing; but sadly it just isn't profitable for me. i have a ridiculously small reach and the amounts of effort put in just feel like a waste with how much time and dedication gets put in. i have always wanted to create art that inspired others, much like how the stuff i loved inspired me, but the truth is that as the years pass by, saying you want to just be a full time artist is more and more unrealistic.

i've toyed with the idea of maybe setting up like a patreon or a kofi if people wanna support but idk what i can even offer as a good incentive. all my art with no watermarks or signatures are posted onto here anyway, so there's no point in paywalling those. maybe open character requests? but then i'd have to deal with the pressures of having to exceed expectations. i'm already someone who gets super frustrated if i draw something and it doesn't go how i envisioned it, how am i supposed to work with that + the pressure of having to constantly churn out artwork that pleases others?

the future is uncertain but do not take this as me quitting or whatever. the tl;dr is that things will just be infrequent for a while.

that's basically it, have a nice day/afternoon/evening. and if you read the whole thing i love you.

metal out.